Humor | RetiredPM

What the Customer Wanted

By RetiredPM

Most of us are familiar with this meme, but it’s worth remembering that being a project manager goes far beyond scheduling, reporting, and handling paperwork.…

8 Humorous but Sad Laws of Project Management

By RetiredPM

Woehlke’s Law Nothing gets done till nothing gets done. Project Managers will not get the staff they need so long as they muddle through with…

Cohn’s Law

By RetiredPM

The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less time you have to do anything. Stability is achieved when you…

The Project Manager’s Creed

By RetiredPM

Don’t take this serious, it’s only meant to make you smile and take your mind off your project problems for a few moments. The Obsessive,…

15 Immutable PM Laws

By RetiredPM

The following is offered “tongue in cheek, ” that is, this post is meant to be humorous in an ironic way, and is not meant…

Ten Commandments of Project Management

By RetiredPM

From the internet, author unknown.

Upper Management in Training

By RetiredPM

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the…

What Your Boss Really Means

By RetiredPM

His / Her Phrase Translation That’s very interesting I disagree I don’t disagree I disagree I don’t totally disagree with you You may be right,…

Seven Stages of a Project

By RetiredPM

Before we delve into the world of project management, let’s start with something which may, at first sight, appear to be just a humorous interlude.…

Improvements on Beating a Dead Horse

By RetiredPM

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that “When you discover that you are riding a dead horse,…

Word of the Day

Project Charter:

A document which outlines the purpose of the project, the manner in which the project will be structured, and how it will be successfully implemented.

Statement of Work:

A document which defines the procurement requirements of the project in sufficient detail to enable potential suppliers to determine if they are able to meet those requirements.

Acceptance Planning:

The process of identifying the milestones, criteria and standards for the acceptance of project deliverables by the customer

Acceptance Management:

The process by which deliverables produced by the project are reviewed and accepted by the customer as meeting their specific requirements.

Triple Constraint:

The combination of the three most significant restrictions on any project

Team:

A group of individuals working together to deliver project requirements.

Status Report:

A report summarizing the current status of a project.

Stakeholder:

Individuals, groups, or organizations who may affect or be affected by a decision, outcome, or deliverable.

Scope:

The sum of the products, services, and results produced in a project.

Scope Creep:

Uncontrolled changes or continuous growth in project scope.

Scope Baseline:

The approved version of a scope statement, WBS, and its associated WBS dictionary.

Root Cause:

The fundamental reason for the occurrence of a problem.

Risk:

An uncertain event or condition that may affect project objectives.

Resource:

Skilled professionals, equipment, services, supplies, commodities, or funds.

Requirements:

A condition or capability needed by stakeholders.

Raid Log:

A project management tool used to track Risks, Assumptions, Issues, and Dependencies.

Quality:

The totality of features and inherent or assigned characteristics that meet requirements and produce project success.

Proof of Concept:

A demonstration that verifies if a concept or idea is feasible in real-world conditions.

Project:

A temporary endeavor undertaken to create a unique product, service, or result.

Project Manager:

The person responsible for the success of the project.

Project Management Plan:

A formal document that defines how a project will be executed, monitored, and controlled.

Project Baseline:

A fixed reference point against which project progress is measured.

Prioritization:

The action or process of deciding the importance or order of tasks.

Order of Magnitude:

An estimation given in broad ranges, often used in the early phases of a project.

Objective:

An intended outcome, meaning, or purpose.

MoSCoW Prioritization Method:

A technique used to prioritize requirements by categorizing them as Must have, Should have, Could have, or Won't have.

Milestone:

A significant event or achievement in the project.

Lessons Learned:

Documentation of experiences that can be used for future reference.

Kick-off Meeting:

The official start of the project or phase.

Iterative Process:

A process that approaches tasks through a cycle of planning, executing, and evaluating.

Issue:

An unforeseen problem that isn’t an immediate risk but could turn into one if not addressed.

Gold Plating:

Adding extra features or functions to a product that were not originally specified, usually without the customer's knowledge or approval.

Gantt Chart:

A horizontal bar chart representing the sequence and duration of tasks within a project.

Float:

The amount of time an activity can be delayed without delaying the project.

Feasibility Study:

An assessment of how practical an idea is based on various factors.

Fallback Plan:

An alternative plan that can be implemented if the original plan fails.

Effective Communication:

The exchange of information so that the message is accurately received and understood by the other party.

Divergent Thinking:

A way of generating many ideas in the brainstorming phase and exploring all possible solutions.

Dependency:

Relationships between activities where one activity relies on another to start or finish.

Delphi Technique:

An information-gathering technique used in decision-making where anonymous responses from experts are aggregated to come to a consensus.

Deliverable:

Any tangible outcome, result, or item that is produced to complete a project.

Decision Log:

A document that records and tracks decisions made during a project.

Critical Path:

The sequence of stages determining the minimum time needed for an operation.

Crisis Management:

The process by which an organization deals with disruptive and unexpected events that threaten to harm the organization or stakeholders.

Cost Management Plan:

A plan that details how project costs will be managed and controlled.

Contingency Plan:

A plan devised for events that might happen in the future.

Constraint:

A factor that limits the team's options, like budget, resources, or timeline.

Conflict Management:

The practice of identifying and handling conflicts in a productive manner.

Communication Plan:

A document that details how project information will be conveyed to stakeholders.

Communication Log:

A record of all communication activities, including sender, receiver, date, message, and medium.

Closing Process Group:

The processes used to finalize all activities to formally close a project.

Charter:

A document that authorizes a project, specifying the stakeholders and detailing the scope and objectives.

Change Request:

A formal proposal to modify any document, deliverable, or baseline.

Change Management:

The systematic approach to dealing with change both from the perspective of an organization and the individual.

Change Control:

A process that ensures that any changes made to a project are introduced in a controlled and coordinated manner.

Bottleneck:

A point of congestion or blockage in a system or process, which limits throughput and slows down production or progress.

Benefit Cost Ratio:

A financial metric used to determine the relative value of projects. It calculates the benefit provided by a project against its costs.

BCWP:

Budgeted Cost of Work Performed. Represents the money budgeted for the work that has been performed up to a particular point in time.

Baseline:

The original plan plus or minus approved changes.

Assumption:

A belief considered true without verification, used for planning purposes.

Analogous Estimating:

A cost estimation technique that uses the cost of previous, similar projects as a baseline to estimate the cost of the current project.

Agile:

An iterative and incremental project management approach that emphasizes flexibility and customer satisfaction.

Aggregate Planning:

A process to develop, analyze, and maintain a preliminary, approximate schedule of the overall operations of an organization.

Ad Hoc Tasks:

Tasks that arise unexpectedly or are not planned in advance.

Activity:

A task or set of tasks that are carried out in order to create an assignable deliverable.

Activity List:

A documented list of actions, activities, and work that must be performed.

Acceptance Criteria:

The conditions that must be met before project deliverables are accepted.

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